What is Loving-Kindness Meditation?
Metta
The Buddhist Texts tell us, “Hatred cannot coexist with love and kindness. It dissipates when supplanted with thoughts of love and compassion.”
Loving-kindness meditation or ‘Metta’ meditation is an ultimate form of generous and selfless love towards ourselves and others.
‘Metta’ is a Pali word for benevolence, friendship, affection, and kindness.
This form of meditation is one of the most soothing ways of practicing the four qualities of love – friendliness (Metta), appreciation and joy (Mudita), compassion (Karuna), and equanimity (Upekkha).
Loving-kindness meditation is free from any expectations or bindings. We do not do it for accomplishing a goal or proving a point; it is merely a process to experience and enjoy.
Metta meditation usually starts with the self, as Buddha said ‘unless we treat ourselves with love and compassion, we cannot reflect the same on others.’
Once we start experiencing self-love and self-compassion for ourselves, we can show the same to others too.
With love and kindness meditation comes self-compassion, increased focus and attention, and a deep sense of emotional strength that balance our thoughts and actions.
Mindfulness-based self-love practices such as loving-kindness meditation, compassion exercises, and sensory awareness techniques are becoming more popular.
Studies on how loving-kindness affect the brain showed that Tibetan monks who had over 10,000 hours of loving-kindness meditation practice had strangely secure neural circuits for self-understanding and empathy.
They displayed a higher degree of self-contentment and inner joy than non-meditators or non-practitioners of loving-kindness meditation.
Further studies showed that during loving-kindness meditation, brain sites that link perception and emotions, get activated faster than in other forms of meditative practices. Both these areas create the capacity to feel and vent out feelings in a desirable way, which explains why loving-kindness meditation lights up true happiness and self-satisfaction.
Repeating kind words to ourselves such as “May you be well,” “May you be happy,” “May you be healthy,” etc., infuse a deep sense of self-worth instantaneously.
During loving-kindness meditation, all we need to do is commit to some dedicated moments of appreciation, gratitude, and encouragement, first to ourselves and then to others.
The practice has a long-lasting impact on our mind and our body and kick-starts a ripple effect of positivity that is truly empowering.
Some of the proven benefits of loving-kindness meditation include:
1. Less self-criticism
2. More positive emotions
3. Lesser self-destructive thoughts
4. Reduced pain symptoms
5. More resilience
6. Long-term health benefits
7. Faster recovery
How to Practice Loving Kindness Meditation
Besides the regular benefits of meditation, including awareness, mental peace, and focus, loving-kindness meditators also enjoy added advantages of increased happiness, love, and affection.
Carve out some time from your daily schedule and commit to loving-kindness during those minutes every day. Even a small break at work would work fine. The key is a consistent commitment to Metta meditation during a particular time of the day.
Start with yourself. Using yourself as the subject, show all your love and care to the self in the first few sessions. Repeat praise words and blessings like “May I be well,” “May I be healthy,” “May I be at peace,” etc., and try to notice what changes within you after each session.
Set a timer for two minutes when you begin meditating. As you progress and get a firmer grasp of it, increase the time and practice accordingly. When you utter the kind words to yourself, make sure you listen to yourself and internalize the meaning of the words. For example, try to imagine what it means to be at peace when you repeat the words ‘May you be at peace,’ or try to understand how safe you feel when you say the words ‘May you be safe,’ etc..
Once you get the hang of self-oriented Metta, your goal would be to direct the same love and kindness to others through the Metta practice, including friends, family, relatives, or colleagues.
After each meditation session, it is vital to spare a few minutes for integrating the experience. You can maintain a journal for recording how you felt before, after, and during the meditation session. Sharing the feelings helps in enhancing awareness about how the meditation helped you and provides enthusiasm to continue practicing in the future.
Some common phrases used in Loving-Kindness Meditation:
1. May I be strong.
2. May I have the power to accept and forgive.
3. May I be at peace.
4. May I be safe.
5. May I be free from suffering.
Lovingkindness Meditation
Become comfortable in your chair or cushion, sitting with a relaxed but straight, posture, with your shoulders relaxed. (Pause)…
Allow your hands to rest comfortably in your lap. Gently close your eyes... (Pause)... Settling into awareness of the body...and the breath.
Feeling into our body right now...noticing what’s here.
Open to whatever is to be experienced in the body in this moment
Connecting to the breath...noticing the wave-like movements of the belly…
In this practice, we’ll be cultivating loving kindness. We all have within us, this natural capacity for lovingkindness. Or...friendship that is unconditional and open…gentle...supportive.
Lovingkindness is a natural opening of a compassionate heart...to ourselves and to others. It’s a wish that everyone be happy.
We begin with developing lovingkindness toward ourselves...allowing our hearts to open with tenderness,
Now, allow yourself to remember and open up to your basic goodness. You might remember times you have been kind or generous. You might recall your natural desire to be happy and not to suffer. If acknowledging your own goodness is difficult, look at yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. What does that person love about you?
Or, you may recall the unconditional love you felt from a beloved pet...
It may help to use the imagination and to picture yourself as a young child standing before you...perhaps 4 or 5 years of age... if that allows tender feelings of kindness to flow more easily...
And, as you experience this love...notice how you feel in your body. Maybe you feel some warmth...or heat in the face. A smile...a sense of expansiveness. This is lovingkindness, a natural feeling that is accessible to all of us...always.
Resting with this feeling of open, unconditional love for a few minutes ...(Pause)
Letting yourself baske in the energy of lovingkindness...breathing it in...and breathing it out...inviting feelings of peace and acceptance...
So, beginning now to wish yourself well by extending words of loving kindness to yourself.
I’ll be offering as guidance the phrases that I’ve chosen to use in my own practice. You’re invited to alter these phrases and choose whatever words express your wishes of loving kindness toward yourself and others.
And now, silently and inwardly offering these words of kindness to yourself...
May I be filled with lovingkindness
May I be held in loving kindness...
May I feel connected and calm...
May I accept myself just as I am...
May I be happy...
May I know the natural joy of being alive…
And, now repeating in the mind these words of friendship and kindness to yourself once again…
May I be filled with lovingkindness
May I be held in loving kindness...
May I feel connected and calm...
May I accept myself just as I am...
May I be happy...
May I know the natural joy of being alive
Now you can open the circle of lovingkindness by bringing to mind someone who is dear to you. Someone whom you care about and who has always been supportive. Reflect on this person’s basic goodness, sensing what it is in particular that you love about him or her. In your heart feel your appreciation for this dear one, and begin your simple offering…
May you be filled with lovingkindness
May you be held in lovingkindness...
May you feel loved..
May you accept yourself just as you are...
May you be happy...
May you know the natural joy of being alive…
Now bring to mind a “neutral” person. This is someone you might see regularly but don’t know well...It might be a neighbor, a grocery store clerk
Bring this person to mind now, and repeat the words of loving kindness...
May you be filled with lovingkindness
May you be held in lovingkindness...
May you feel loved...
May you accept yourself just as you are...
May you be happy...
May you know the natural joy of being alive…
And now, if it’s possible for you, bring to mind someone with whom you’ve had a difficult relationship. Perhaps it’s someone you don’t like to feel sympathy or compassion for. Seeing if it’s possible to let go of feelings of resentment and dislike for this person. Reminding yourself to see this person as a whole being...deserving of love and kindness. As someone who feels pain and anxiety...as someone who also suffers.
Seeing if it’s possible to extend to this person the words of loving kindness in your mind...
May you be filled with lovingkindness
May you be held in lovingkindness...
May you feel loved...
May you accept yourself just as you are...
May you be happy...
May you know the natural joy of being alive…
Now, allow your awareness to open out in all directions...yourself, a dear one, a neutral person and a difficult person...and of all beings...humans and animals living everywhere...living in richness, poverty, war, peace, hunger, abundance...Aware of all the joys and sorrows that all beings experience…
May all beings be filled with lovingkindness...
May all beings be happy...
May all beings awaken and be free...
May all beings be free…
And now, bringing this practice to a close by coming back to extend kindness to yourself.
Sitting for a while and basking in the energy of loving kindness that may have been generated here.
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